Weight. We all have hang ups. Things we don’t like about our bodies; the way they look, the marks, blemishes or the scars. I’m not the first person to say I don’t like my own body and I won’t be the last. I don’t like my legs, my stomach, my arms. I don’t really like my body in general if I’m honest.
Do I make any effort to change the way I look? Honestly. Not really. Would I like a magic wand to just zap myself to how I want? Wouldn’t we all given the chance? But I just don’t do enough to get to where I want to be. I can easily list off a load of excuses for why I don’t do it. I think having a baby is an easy one there. But I just don’t like exercising, I never really have. And I try to stick to a healthy diet, but like most people I’m easily persuaded to go off track.
It’s Not Just About Me – It’s About Being a Role Model to My Daughter
Truth is, there comes a point where enough is enough. How can I say to Isabelle you should do this; eat healthy, drink water, and exercise when I’m not that great at it myself. I want to be a role model to my daughter, not just someone who tells her what she should do.
Although it’s a Sunday, today starts the beginning. No weekend of eat what you want before the diet starts on Monday. Today starts a healthier, happier journey that although will take time to get to where I want, I want to make it. Not just for me, but for Isabelle too.
Finding the Balance Between Body Positivity and Wanting to be Better
Today I weighed at the heaviest I’ve ever been – minus just before giving birth of course – and I’m quite ashamed I’ve gotten to this point. I know people like driving home the message of body positivity and being happy with how you look, but it’s a hard balance to find. On the one hand, yes you do have to be happy in the skin you’re in, but on the other hand there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a healthier version of yourself.
I don’t want to be the mum who doesn’t want to go swimming with my daughter because I’m embarrassed with how I look. I don’t want to be lagging behind when we go on a family hike somewhere. And I don’t want to be paranoid about wearing something short because I hate my legs.
What Am I Actually Going to Do?
I’m the type of person who won’t just stick to something unless there’s some other motivator to make me do it. That’s why I’m thinking about trying the couch to 5k, although I’m not sure yet. But I do want to do something. I’m also going to talk about it each week via the blog. I think if I make this a little more public I might feel a bit of pressure to keep it up. That’s why things like Slimming World have worked for me in the past. Having that pressure to lose weight every time you weigh in class does make you stick at it.
Do I think I’ll ever be able to do a 5K? Not really. But I think I need some sort of goal to strive towards in order to be able to do this. I’ll also get my diet back on track. Ross has always been good at sorting that out, even if we are on completely different diets. I think I just need to cut my carbs a little bit and think a little more about what I’m actually eating. That and just follow Ross’s advice of just show up and do it.
Well, here we are after doing day one of the couch to 5k challenge. I look a little bit like a tomato, but I guess that’s the point! I didn’t really want to do it, but I feel happy that I actually went out and did it.