This time last year I was still suffering with postnatal depression. But since my wife and I were celebrating our paper anniversary together, I decided to write her a letter. Of course, at the time, I didn’t have this blog. So I had absolutely no intention of anyone ever seeing what I wrote. But since I’m quite public with a lot of my thoughts and feelings, I thought I’d share this. I’m mainly doing it to give you a little bit of an insight into my mindset when Isabelle was roughly 10 weeks old. This is virtually unedited to what…

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If you asked me a few years ago what my thoughts were about awareness days, I probably would have told you that they were a waste of time. And if I’m honest, some of them still are. I mean I don’t think we really need a Richter Scale Day. Perhaps I’m missing something on that one, but some of these days have gotten a little silly. But right now there’s a very important one going on, and that’s World Maternal Mental Health Week. Why Maternal Mental Health Week is So Important For me, Maternal Mental Health week is vital for those…

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This has been a massive week for me on a personal level. If you’ve read this blog before you might have heard me say that I hated Isabelle when she was born. There are so many places that have that headline. I’m obviously not going to list them all. But for a long time I thought it to be true. And whilst recording a video to talk about the last few days, which saw my letter to Isabelle hit the media outlets, I realised something. I might have hated myself, and not my daughter. I Didn’t Hate My Daughter, I…

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I like writing Isabelle letters to her future self. This is going to be one of them. I should really do them more often, but I feel that this is going to be one of the more important ones. This letter to my baby is going to be about the fact I had postnatal depression when she was born. I want to tell her about it, and this is part of the way I’m going to do it. When I came out with my story, I had a lot of people saying it was bad as my baby would eventually…

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I’m not going to lie, Sunday night I had what can only be described as a little bit of a breakdown with postnatal depression. I had a rough week in general last week. I wasn’t in a really bad place in terms of my depression, I’ve certainly been in worse, but for whatever reason, I just didn’t feel connected with Isabelle again. It all started on Tuesday when I was singing Isabelle to sleep to Sam Smith’s song Too Good at Goodbyes. It was the following lyrics that just hit me: I’m never gonna let you close to me Even though you mean…

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