My wife gave birth over 17 months ago, but she’s still left with the scars of the birth. When I look at my wife’s stomach I don’t see awful scars on a slightly wobbly stomach. Maybe that’s what she sees, but I don’t. Ok, I’m not going to lie, I do see the slightly wobbly stomach – I’m just being honest here, please don’t hit me. And of course, I do see the stretch marks. I’m not blind. But I love what I see. I love what I see for one very simple reason: I love my wife. And that means far more than just a body.
Stretch Marks: The Symbol of Becoming a Mother
Before my wife became a mother, I didn’t really give much thought to the idea of stretch marks. I knew that it was a possibility, but I genuinely assumed that they would just fade and be gone a few months after childbirth. After all, isn’t that why people use stretch mark cream? Yes, I was naive. But stretch marks aren’t exactly something you see or hear about that often in the media.
When my daughter was born and my wife seemingly deflated the balloon she had been internally blowing up, I saw a different body.
I’ve been with my wife for over ten years now. Over that time she’s inevitably varied in terms of her weight and her shape. Without going into too much detail – mostly for fear of my life – I’ll just say that she’s fluctuated quite a bit.
She’s had a little wobble going on from time to time and then did what a lot of women do and slimmed down for our wedding. After that she really let herself go and massively piled on the weight. I mean it was ridiculous. Within a few months she had this massive stomach and was the heaviest she had ever been.
Oh, would you look at that, there’s my wife, right on cue. Not that I’m saying she looks like a horse – digging a hole here. I’m just saying that she’s probably angry.
I’m being silly here. She was obviously pregnant.
Having a pregnant wife is actually pretty amazing. It’s one of the only times in a man’s life where you can poke fun at your wife’s stomach without too much fear of getting
kicked firmly in the bollocks told off.
I Love My Wife’s Stretch Marks
All the silly jokes aside, I love my wife’s stretch marks. Not just because they’re the sign of what her body went through to birth our daughter, but because they’re her stretch marks. I guess when I see my wife I see more than just what she looks like. I see her. Sometimes that’s an incredibly nice thing for her to hear. When she’s feeling bad about herself or puts on weight I still see the same woman I fell in love with.
It’s also rather annoying. When she’s done her hair, put some makeup on and looks rather amazing, I look blankly at her as if nothing has changed. It’s almost like I haven’t even noticed that she’s changed her hair. I look past all of that and just see my wife, the woman that I love. Yes, that’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it!
When I look at her I see the mildly intoxicated teenager that thinks she’s rather attractive whilst sporting the vomit-in-the-hair look. I see the woman who left me with some cleaning to do after she couldn’t quite make it to the toilet after a rough night out. And I see the woman who birthed our daughter and all the
HORRIFIC SIGHTS AND SOUNDS! pleasantries that come with that. Lots and lots of pleasantries.
Toddlers: They Don’t Always See the Same Things We See
Sometimes it’s truly beautiful how a toddler thinks. Well, not all the time. The idea of pulling out a half eaten orange segment and trying to force it down my throat is not a pleasant idea. But their view on the human body really is.
What I love about my daughter, and probably young children in general, is their total lack of judgement. When my daughter sees my wife’s stomach, she doesn’t see anything strange. Toddlers can’t even comprehend the idea of body confidence. They don’t understand why someone might look at their body and want to change it. They don’t understand guilt, shame, embarrassment or disgust. All they see is a body, and that’s it. They don’t think anything past that. It’s a shame we can’t all think like that sometimes.
When it comes to my wife I’m very much like a toddler. Not in the sense that I’ll scream if I don’t get my own way – although I’m not going to lie, that does sometimes happen. But no matter what happens, however her body changes, for better or worse, I just see my wife.
People often get tattoos to remind themselves of the important people in their life. Stretch marks are just natures way of giving you a unique tattoo to remind you of what your body has gone through. When I see my wife’s stretch marks I see everything that I love spread beautifully across her body. I see my wife and her ever changing body, and I see my daughter, the joint best thing to ever happen in my life. For that, I love everything about my wife’s stretch marks.
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