Well we’ve steadily been plugging away – pun fully intended – for the best part of 8 months now, and as of this writing there has been no sign of a positive pregnancy test. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t feel like we’ve been trying for that long. We’ve basically been contraception free for 8 months. So that kinda counts. But with Rachel still breastfeeding, she’s hardly appeared the most “fertile.”
So I thought I’d do what I do best, and come on here and ramble away (#RossRambles) for roughly 1000 words about this whole “trying to get pregnant” thing. Yes, it’s going to be a thrilling and exciting post. Strap yourself in and prepare to be rambled at.
8 Months in and We’re still not pregnant – It’s a pain in the arse!
Trying to get pregnant is a pain in the arse. I mean not literally. If it is then you’re really doing it wrong and that’s maybe why you’re not pregnant.
I don’t want to get anal here – please stop – I’m not saying trying for a baby is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. Having my wife say “look, we’re going to have to have more sex” isn’t the worst thing she’s ever said to me. But it’s still a nightmare.
Right from the start we had no clue if Rachel was even “fertile” and able to get pregnant. I dare say my poor wife doesn’t want me to go into too much detail here, but let’s just say we haven’t needed to buy feminine hygiene products for a quite a while. And even when her period did return – Sorry Rachel, we’re all adults here – they were a lot more irregular than they ever were before.
One month she would have one, as you do, then the next month it would seemingly get skipped. Is she suddenly getting a longer cycle? Who knows. It’s irregular, and it’s annoying. Perhaps if she wasn’t still breastfeeding things would be easier. But neither of us want to stop breastfeeding purely to make it easier to try for a baby. Besides, there’s no way either of us would want to tell Isabelle she isn’t having any boobs! She already likes to hurt me as it is.
I’m still not 100% convinced that I want another baby
I know that’s a ridiculous thing to say whilst trying to get someone pregnant. Having a baby is one of those things that if you’re gonna do it you don’t have much choice but to go balls deep. HA! BALLS DEEP!
Sorry. I’m a child. Obviously what I mean is you’re either in or you’re out. That’s another shit sex joke for you too actually! HA!
The truth is I won’t know how I’ll feel until we have baby number two. I don’t even think it’s something you can fully prepare for. Will it be a bigger life changing event than going from no children to one? Probably not. I’ve literally already done everything once so doing it the second time around will surely be easier? Right!?
Either way, I do know one thing for sure…
There will always be a huge part of me that’s terrified of becoming a dad once again
Not long ago I wrote about being scared of my wife getting pregnant for Today’s Parent. In that post I talked about the worry of postnatal depression returning, the worry of having to open myself up to love another person again and the general fear of throwing a potential spanner in the works when life is seemingly going great.
I know, deep down, that there is a very strong chance I will struggle when we eventually do have another child. I know myself quite well at this point in my life. Adding something as stressful and life changing as a baby will inevitably put me at risk of slipping a little bit with my mental health. I regretted Isabelle’s birth once, and there’s a chance that might happen with the next one.
I was never a massive fan of the baby stage
I’ll openly admit that I didn’t always really enjoy the baby stage of Isabelle’s life. I much prefer her as a toddler who actually wants to do stuff. Even if it is ever so occasionally a twatting nightmare. So the idea of having another baby AND a chaotic toddler is a worrying prospect.
But things will be different next time. For a start, having Isabelle might actually be a good thing. She’s a glowing example of what happens when you battle through depression. I’m also aware that Rachel will take a year off work and without sounding like a neglectful knobhead of a father, she will likely do most of the baby work. She’ll baby wear (as will I), breastfeed and we’ll co-sleep again. So yes, she will do the majority of the parenting with the baby.
Meanwhile I’ll be chasing Isabelle around Tesco like an utter dickhead. Standard, mate!
I’m also already on antidepressants and I have many more outlets to help me release any mental tension as it starts to build. When we first had Isabelle I didn’t have Instagram to ramble away to. Now I do. And that’s a huge difference!
In the Long Run, I know Having more than one kid is something that we both really want, but we don’t mind when it happens
Truth be told, I don’t want another baby. I want another child. But unless you want to adopt – something I don’t actually have a problem with – the baby stage is unavoidable. But before we even hit the baby stage we have to hit the pregnancy stage.
I guess we’re going to have to keep doing what we’re doing and hope for the best. Maybe in a few months Rachel might be open to trying the menstrual cup idea, but at this stage she’s more grossed out by it. Which is totally understandable.
So for now I’ll leave you with the curiosity of what the menstrual cup idea is and say goodbye! If you don’t click that link I’ll be shocked.