Dad Diaries #6 – Leaving Our Toddler to Attend a Wedding

Parenting can be a rough ride. It’s the hardest, most demanding job that you’ll ever willingly accept. Sometimes it’s nice to have a break from that job and do something as a couple like you used to be able to do back in the day. You know, be able to look at each other for longer than five minutes without the panic of “oh shit where is she?” or “please don’t wake up.” But when the time came where we found ourselves away together from our daughter for only the second time, we almost instantly missed her.

Having a Demanding, Chaotic, Adventurous Toddler

At Isabelle’s current stage, she is a very demanding little girl. Don’t worry, I say that with affection. But myself and Rachel do occasionally look over at other parents, with their baby sat nicely in their pram for a prolonged period of time, thinking “there’s no way Isabelle would do that.” And it’s true. She’s at this adorable stage where she wants to explore everything. EVERYTHING. Take her to Tesco and you very rarely have any chance of her sitting in the trolley. If you have a snack, you have a slightly better chance. But the girl loves to eat on the move.

My point is, she’s demanding. By the end of the day she’s drained every last drop of energy out of you. The idea of having a break away from her is often something that sounds rather appealing. But sometimes reality is a little bit different to the dream.

Leaving Our Toddler to Attend a Wedding

As you might be able to guess from both the title of this post and the subheading that you just read, we recently attended a friend’s wedding. We probably could’ve taken Isabelle with us, but in all honesty, I’m not totally sure why we didn’t. Maybe we thought it would be a good excuse to go somewhere as a couple and just enjoy some time away together. Something we’ve only ever done on one other occasion. But after a very short while of being there, we quickly found ourselves at a loss of what we were doing. For a little while we just sat there like this:

It’s almost like we forgot how to be a couple. I think we just looked at each other with the thought of “what did we used to do before we had Isabelle?” And a part of us just wanted her to be there. It almost felt wrong that she wasn’t with us.

Of course, we still managed to enjoy our time at the wedding. But towards the end of the night we both just wished we had booked a room at the venue, had her with us and stayed the night. My mind even wandered quite frequently towards what I’d be doing had she been there. I looked at the dance floor and all I could think about was Isabelle twirling whilst she bounced along to the music. Considering where I’ve been in the past with my relationship with Isabelle, I was quite glad that I was thinking like this.

I Don’t Blame People for Wanting Time Away From Their Children

I know as well as anyone that you have to find ways to cope if you’re struggling. If having time away from your children to chill out, relax and reset is what you need, then do it. I’d never feel guilty for doing something like this as I know my mental health plays a big part in my ability as a parent. People need to know what works for them and actively do things to stay sane. I’m just glad that I don’t feel the need to relive our previous life of being a carefree couple.

At the end of the day I consider myself and Rachel quite lucky. Neither of us really have to solo parent for a prolonged length of time. I’m home around 2pm when I’m in work and Rachel only works two days a week – albeit she’s out of the house for almost 14 hours. But neither of us feel like we ever need a day like we had at this wedding. We won’t be marking the calendar any time soon counting down the days until we’re next free.

Besides, giving me too much freedom and the ability to drink alcohol ins’t necessarily a good idea!

As usual, here’s this weeks vlog. It’s not the best, but I am getting a new phone soon so hopefully the quality will be better in the future

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Ross

I’m a 26 year old married father of one. I started blogging after suffering postnatal depression when Isabelle was born. These days I talk about much more than just that.

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