Technically this title is slightly misleading. My wife and I have of course both been away from our baby at the same time. We do both work. So technically leaving the baby is something we’ve already done. But yesterday was the first time we have ever purposefully left our baby – called Isabelle – to do something as a couple, and she hasn’t long turned one years old!
First Time Leaving the Baby as a Couple
As expected, when we left, Isabelle balled her eyes out. I’m quite used to this as she does it every time I leave her with Rachel’s mum and go to work. Rachel on the other hand has never really seen it. Isabelle doesn’t cry when she goes to work as she’s being left with me. But Isabelle has never seen the two of us leave as a couple, so she really didn’t like it.
Even my wife shed a little tear as we didn’t necessarily need to leave our baby. So of course this led to her feeling guilty for upsetting her without needing to. But I quickly reminded her that she would be fine and a few minutes later we received a text saying just that.
It’s something called secure attachement and it’s actually a good thing. Rahcel might have gotten upset but I on the other hand, laughed and found the whole thing quite funny. But again, I’m used to seeing this and know that it’s what you want from your baby. Anyway, on to actually going out as a couple for the first time!
What Did We do When Leaving Our Baby as a Couple?
We didn’t do anything fancy. We simply went to the cinema to watch the latest Avengers film, Infinity War. Which was alright. Usually I’m happy to wait until things come out on a certain little app on the Fire TV stick we own. But this was the type of film that you really had to watch as soon as you could, otherwise the spoilers would inevitably come and ruin the whole thing. Hence why we actually went.
Being Away from the Baby Together
For me, it didn’t really feel like a big deal. Yes it was a little bit weird being with Rachel and not going to get Isabelle out of the car seat. Once you have a baby they seemingly become entrenched in your every day life and become the new norm. So to not have them with you when you’re out as a couple is slightly bizarre.
But at the same time, I’ve been back in work far longer than Rachel, so I’m used to being out and about without Isabelle.
Rachel, on the other hand, has pretty much either been with Isabelle or been in work since she was born. We can count on our hands the number of times she’s left her for non work related reasons. That and the fact that Isabelle cried when we left made all of this a much bigger deal for Rachel than it was for me.
The best part about all this was simply being able to switch off during the ENTIRE LENGTH OF A FILM!
It was slightly bizarre but bloody enjoyable. We’re both so used to not knowing whether we’ll get to watch a film, or how long we might have to pause it when Isabelle wakes, that being able to COMPLETELY shut off from the outside world was somewhat of a pleasure.
Will We be Leaving our baby to do more as a Couple again?
If there’s a good enough reason to leave our baby then sure, we’d do something again as just a couple. But the only reason we’ve waited this long is because we haven’t really felt the need to do this. I understand that people often want to leave the baby as they feel like they need that break to be able to reset and come back fresh, but we’ve never really had that desire.
We’re not massively outgoing people, so we didn’t leave much of a crazy lifestyle behind when we had Isabelle. For many people having a baby does come with a huge shift in their lifestyle. But not so much for us. Before Isabelle arrived we’d find ourselves in bed at 9pm on a Friday night. Yes, I know, we were party animals! And we still do the same now.
Undoubtedly though, we will be doing something like this again. We’re not sure when we’ll do the real test of leaving Isabelle overnight. That probably won’t be for a while yet. But a trip to the cinema is certainly something we’d like to do again. It’s good for Isabelle and it’s certainly good for us.
Mind you, we were actually the only ones watching the film. So technically we could’ve bloody brought her with us anyway. They even had baby changing facilities at the cinema. I’m all up for places having these facilities, but why in a cinema? Or am I missing something on this one?