When you become a parent you inevitably have the feeling that your child is the most important thing in your life. You love them unconditionally, at least eventually, and you would do anything for them. Some people even say that their children are now the priority in their life. But for me it’s going to be a little bit different. As much as I love my daughter, I will always put my marriage first.
My Marriage Will Always Come Ahead of My Children
Before I carry on with any of this, I will say that my marriage will always come first as long as a few things still apply.
If my wife turns around and says she’s had multiple affairs over the past ten years then I’m pretty sure I’ll be hurt by the fact she didn’t ask me to get involved. I mean who does that!? If you’re going to have an affair at least ask your partner to join in. It’s the polite thing to do! Not that I have any idea how a threesome would really work? Something like this maybe?
But in that situation I dare say we might have a divorce. Maybe? I won’t mind staying together, but if my wife is off sleeping with other dudes – or women, it could totally be women – I would assume that she doesn’t want to stay married. In that case I will sign my desirable ass up to Tinder and get on the prowl for the next woman who will have to put up with my bizarre shit. If you’re a single lady you might want to follow the blog on the off chance that we divorce. You never quite know your luck.
Don’t panic though, as far as I know divorce isn’t quite on the cards yet. We are trying to add another baby to the family – no luck yet and I’m trying my hardest – so I doubt she’s going to want a divorce anytime soon. We’re not even in our 30’s, so there’s still plenty of time for us to grow to hate each other and go our separate ways. But that will only happen if we don’t put our marriage first.
My Wife Will be a Bigger Part of my Life than My Daughter Will ever be
As much as I love my daughter, and I know she’s going to be a huge part of my life, she’s never going to be the biggest part of it. She’s currently only 21 months old. Eventually she’ll be her own independent person who will be on her own journey separate to mine. I have absolutely no idea what that journey will entail. She might become a marine biologist doing field work in the antarctic. She might become an air hostess and have to travel the world. Or she might become the next Sticky Vicky in Benidorm. Only click that link if you want to watch some weird shit.
What I do know is that no matter what my wife chooses, I will always be there. Probably stealing her clothes and pissing her off. As long as we are married and things remain consensual, we will always be on this journey together. Meanwhile the journey I’m currently on with my daughter will eventually leave me by the wayside as she continues on with someone else.
Right now I’m the only man in my daughter’s life. But one day she will find a man – or woman – who she will want to spend the rest of her life with, and that person will become her world.
When the time comes where Isabelle flies the nest, I will still have my wife. It will still be the two of us muddling our way through life as always.
The Better the Relationship I have with my wife, the better the Parent I can be to my daughter
I’m a firm believer that raising children is far easier in a healthy, happy relationship. Of course it can still be done as a single parent, but I dare say it’s an awful lot harder. I also know that life in general is so much more difficult if my wife and I aren’t getting on. If we’ve been arguing or we’re both stressed then everything is that little bit more of a pain.
But when we’re good together everything is great. Our daughter is far better off when the two of us are happy. That’s why in a way, I would actually be putting my daughter first by concentrating first on my marriage. Makes sense, right!?
My Purpose as a Parent is to Eventually Not be Needed
My purpose as a parent isn’t to raise a daughter who constantly needs me. It’s to raise an adult who can eventually leave and be independent. Will I always be here if she ever needs me? To a point. But I’m not always going to be in her life. I’ll eventually get old and die and all she’ll have is the family that she creates.
Don’t Take this the Wrong Way
Don’t take any of what I’m saying the wrong way. I obviously love my daughter and would do anything for her. But my wife and I are connected in a completely different way than I am with my daughter.
My wife and I are ONE . We’re a couple, and as much as I love my daughter, when I’m an 80 year old man I’m going to need my wife in more ways than I’m going to need my daughter. When I’m an old man that’s been dumped in some nursing home, all that I’ll truly have is my wife. And I want that. I want to create enough memories with my wife that when we’re in that nursing home together we can just sit back and she can listen to me go “remember the time when…“ every few minutes of the day.
If everything goes to plan, my wife and I will always be side by side. But when it comes to my daughter, if everything goes to plan, she’s going to have a family of her very own. So that’s why I would always put my marriage before my daughter.