My First Night Alone With Isabelle – How Did it Go?

Well that’s it. Our baby’s first night without mum and being left with her dad is officially done. I wrote about how I felt before it, so I thought I’d just write a little bit of nonsense about how it all went.

Basically, It Wasn’t Too Bad

I knew the evening would go fine. Even if she did enjoy smacking me a little bit too much. But then I was more than happy to be the punch bag to keep her smiling.

Isabelle’s used to having me for that time, but I was worried how she’d react when it come to bed time and mummy wasn’t around. Somehow, she took it rather well. She didn’t really even seem to care. She woke up and happily went up to bed. But this is where I knew the fun would begin.

It Was Like Having the Newborn Back

I mean this one in a good way. When we first had Isabelle she would only really settle in the night on my chest. Even if it’s not something you should do, we still did it safely.

And after a bit of crying, eventually she fell asleep on my chest like in the old days. She did slowly move herself down and tucked her head nicely into my armpit where she stayed asleep. Not sure that’s the nicest place to sleep, but I’ll take it!

I Still Love Co-Sleeping

I know people say that by co-sleeping you’re making a rod for your own back. That you end up with a ‘needier’ baby. And maybe they’re right. Had we used the cot, I could just put Isabelle down like every other night and it would be no different. No needing to be led on someone, no need to be touched.

But if having my daughter fall asleep with her head on my chest is what’s considered making my life harder, then I’ll take it. Every. Single. Time.

It was actually really nice having her fall asleep like that, even if I was led there thinking “how am I going to sleep like this?”

I still think people are in far too much of a rush for babies to grow up. There’s nothing wrong with letting them need you. Before long she’ll be a moody teenager, she’ll be moving out and I’ll be a frail old man who she won’t really want to come and see. So yes, I’m going to create and enjoy as many moments like this as I can.

When She Did Settle

When she did eventually settle, I felt a lot like I did back in the day when she was a newborn. It’s that stupid feeling you get when the baby falls asleep, you’re really tired, but you’re also led there thinking about when they might wake up next. You know you have to go to sleep right now, but almost can’t. There’s too much pressure to sleep. I guess by the time I finished overthinking how I was going to sleep, I ended up just falling asleep.

The Many, Many Wake Ups

Isabelle slept straight through from 9:30 or so to roughly 11:45. Then she had her meltdown that I was worried would come. The one she usually has when Rachel’s in the toilet and she wants to feed. But after a few minutes of intense crying, she stopped and just conked.

She did this quite a lot throughout the night. It was pretty much every hour until somewhere between 3 and 4. She was a little bit more of a mess with her crying so I changed her nappy, held her and let her have some milk from the straw cup, and again let her sleep on my chest. She actually stayed in between my arm and torso with her head on my chest this time. A place Elsie actually really likes too. We basically slept like this until I woke up a few hours later and found her like this:

Excuse the poor quality photos. But I’m obviously not going to get the curtains open to let the light in. I’ll take a shitty photo and some sleep instead!

So Yeah, The First Night Being Left With Her Dad Was Fine

She basically slept until 7:30, which is the latest she’s slept till since I can’t even remember. She’s usually up around 5:30 so I guess it shows how much of a disrupted sleep she had.

In essence, we both survived. It wasn’t the best sleep we’ve both ever had, but it was ok. I’m not sure whether this post is really needed. I feel a little bit silly as this is basically a Dad looking after his daughter for the night. It’s hardly a big deal. But it was something I had never done before. So I guess it’s relevant.

And I was worried that old feeling would resurface is Isabelle was a disaster in the night. So I’m glad nothing ever came or that.

Well that’s it. Thanks for reading! Me and Isabelle have to do the whole thing again tonight as Rachel is nights again. Hopefully it’ll go a little smoother. If not, then that’s fine too. We can deal with it.

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I’m a 26 year old married father of one. I started blogging after suffering postnatal depression when Isabelle was born. These days I talk about much more than just that.

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