Thinking About Having a Second Child

We’re fast approaching Isabelle’s first birthday. And since it’s actually Sibling Day, which is another random day that people like to have, I thought it would be a good time to flesh out my thoughts on possibly creating a second child.

A family photo of us in Western on the Grand Pier
Thinking about turning this three into four

When’s the Right Time?

I’ve talked to a lot of people about babies since becoming a parent. It’s almost inevitable that you do. But everyone seems to have different opinions on when’s the best time to have the second child. Some say it’s better to get all the hard work out of the way early, and have them close together. Others say it’s best to wait until the first one is a little older, so you’re not chasing after two.

I think I fall more into the first category as I do like the idea of having two children really close together. I think it’ll be much easier in terms of our plans to home educate, as they’ll be at a similar level in their education. And I agree with the notion that it’s better to have all the hard work together than waiting to get used to having things slightly easier, and then mess it all up again.

I’m not sure exactly when Rachel would like to start trying, and ultimately the choice lies with her. But whenever we decide, we do have some concerns about having a second child.

Concerns About Having a Second Child

Obviously we do have some concerns when thinking about having a second child. So I’m just going to run through some things that we might worry about. Ultimately, none of these are going to be a strong enough reason to prevent us from having one.

Suffering With Postnatal Depression Again

This is a pretty obvious concern. If I suffered with it the first time around, then there’s a strong chance I might have it again. But I won’t be as worried about it this time. For a start, I won’t be caught off guard. If I feel nothing for the next baby when they’re first born, I’ll simply think “it’s ok, I was like this before” and simply move on. I won’t feel guilty, I won’t allow it to stress me out, and I’ll have Isabelle there as a perfect reminder of how it turns out.

I also learned so much from the early days of having Isabelle that I won’t make the same mistakes twice. No taking it personal when the next one simply wants to be on the boob, and I certainly won’t be taking them off once they’re done feeding. They’re hardly ever just done feeding, so assuming they’re not hungry just because they’ve fed is a bad idea. I’ll probably write a separate post about all this in the future.

Co-Sleeping

We love co-sleeping with Isabelle. But having a second child might make that slightly more difficult. I dare say we could still have the next-to-me crib and have Isabelle in the middle. But having a baby wake a lot in the night, then a two year old wake too because of it, doesn’t seem like a good move. We might try and get Isabelle to sleep in a cot in our room, but we wouldn’t;t force it. And in the end, she’ll probably just end up being in bed with us. As for the dogs, they might have to go back downstairs. Something I really don’t like the idea of, but I know it’ll have to be done.

Our MyHummy Sleepy Head in our next-to-me cot that we co-sleep with - can we do this with a second child?
“Room for one more?”

I Don’t Think We’ll Be Long

I know there are probably other concerns. Money is always going to be a worry. Having to start everything over from scratch once again is going to be tough, and of course going through another labour isn’t going to be fun. More so for Rachel, but still for me too.

At the end of the day, we know we’re going to have another baby in the not so distant future. Will Rachel be pregnant by the end of the year? If everything goes as planned, she probably would be. Of course, it’s not like she’ll just get pregnant once we decide to start trying. We know it might take some time. But since Isabelle took 6 weeks to conceive, we have to be ready to get pregnant straight away once we start trying.

For me, I really hope we get pregnant soon. It doesn’t matter if it takes some time, as we’re happy as we are anyway. But I’ve always wanted more than one child, and it would be weird if it stayed just the three of us.

Hopefully, by the time Rachel does have baby number two, they’ll actually have that 12 weeks paternity leave in place and I can have a decent amount of time off! Not that more leave is a good reason to have a baby. I’m not saying it’s a terrible reason, just not the best one. Meanwhile Rachel will be having the full year off. Not bad for some!

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Ross

I’m a 26 year old married father of one. I started blogging after suffering postnatal depression when Isabelle was born. These days I talk about much more than just that.

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1 Comment

  1. 15th April 2018 / 11:39 pm

    Good Luck – there is no right or wrong time, and you are right you will adapt 😊

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