I said in a recent breastfeeding post that I was going to try and stay a little more topical on the blog and start covering the odd news story and just give my take on it. So here we are talking about selling fake penises to transgender children. Here’s the headline via the Mirror:
Mum of ‘gender non-conforming’ child sells fake ‘extra-small’ penises for transgender kids aged under five
Fake Penises for Transgender Children Under 5 – This is Bloody Ridiculous
Let’s be honest before I go any further. That headline is a ridiculous one. The idea of someone actually going out and purchasing a fake penis for their 4 year old daughter to wear is just utterly bizarre. Is it something that I would ever do for my daughter? Absolutely no chance. But then I’m also not in that situation either.
As a general rule, I’m someone that genuinely doesn’t care what people do. As long as it doesn’t affect others in a harmful way then do what you want. I’m just a little bit surprised that there’s even a market for a product like this. And I’m really questioning whether there even should be. I mean, I know people say to try and find your niche, but this has to be a pretty small market that you’re appealing to with a product like this. That might explain why they’re selling for $45 mind.
My Next Question: Why Would Anyone Actually Want a Fake Penis?
Why would anyone want to wear a fake penis? I mean, it’s one thing to want a penis, but what you’re selling here is a bulge. You’re effectively telling your daughter “look, if you’re going to have a penis, you have to have people be able to tell that it’s there.” And that’s a pretty strange message to be sending. That’s probably not what they’re try to convey with this, but that’s how I’m reading it. It’s probably more about giving a girl the opportunity to be more male.
It also gets me wondering whether this would be sell-able to adults? I mean, I’m not entirely sure this would be something I’d want if this was me. I’d be completely aware that it’s fake and, at least to me, slightly silly. But we’re all different, so if this helps someone in some way, then of course, I’m all for it.
Oh, and you can also buy ‘Stand-To-Pee’ devices that enables your girl to pee whilst standing so she can feel more like a boy. I don’t know exactly why you’d want that. Peeing whilst standing is far less enjoyable than sitting down. Unless it’s very cold. If it’s that cold then I would certainly be using this if I was a girl, but I don’t think they intended this to be used by women who don’t like cold toilet seats.
Anyway, here are some of the fake penises designed for transgender children under the age of five. That’s a sentence I never thought I’d write:
Can You Really Say a Child is Transgender?
Look, gender dysphoria is a real issue. I’ve had my battles with depression in the past, and I know what it’s like to hate a part of yourself or feel uncomfortable in your own skin. But waking up everyday feeling like you’re in the wrong body, and you’re not the person you see in the mirror must be excruciating. But when it comes to children, can we really judge that anyone around the age of five is actually going through gender dysphoria? I’m not sure we can.
What we can do is constantly talk to them. Ask them how they’re feeling, and empathise with them. Don’t tell them it’s just a phase, or tell them not to think like that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life it’s you don’t choose how you feel. A child feeling this way didn’t suddenly go “screw it, I want to be a boy.” No, the feeling is there much in the same way happiness or fear, or any other emotion is.
I could sit here and list the research that suggests that around 80% of children who are seen as having gender dysphoria have the issue naturally resolved and end up accepting their birth gender when they’re older. But I’ll be honest, I don’t exactly trust the research on this matter due to the biases that people may hold. The Trans community obviously have their bias, and so do others. It’s not like this is a black and white issue where you either have a broken leg or you don’t. This is incredibly complicated, and way too much so for a quick blog post about a news article.
My Issue is the Fact We’re Talking About Childre
My only real issue with this comes with saying a child of such a young age is transgender. I personally don’t see any problems with just letting a child develop, at least until closer to teenage years, maybe even older, and seeing how it goes from there. Children explore things, so it’s only natural for them to consider exploring gender identities too.
Of course, you could argue that I have no business commenting on an issue that doesn’t affect me. Which I’ll admit that it doesn’t. But I do have a daughter, and this is something that could come up at some point in the future. But I will wait for more and more research to come out and see what happens from there. At the end of the day, it’s very hard to have a representative sample for a long term study when the trans-children issue is only really a pretty recent thing.
If you do suspect that your child may be suffering from gender dysphoria, then feel free to read this. Whatever happens, please just accept your child for who they are, if they are actually going through all of this then they really do need people who can back them up and support them.