Whilst I do enjoy writing about being a parent, it’s also something that’s relatively new to me. I’ve loved learning on the job, and am vastly different in what I know now than when we first brought Isabelle home, but depression is something that I feel I know an awful lot about. And most importantly, it’s something that I feel I can genuinely help people with. I’m not sure whether that’s actually true, and maybe all my advice is going to be useless and no one will care. But it will help remind myself how to make things better, and keep things in perspective, and that’s always a good thing.
Also this week, I found myself feeling slightly gutted that I would be missing out on Hot Yoga (there’s the link for anyone in the South Wales area who wishes to try it). It’s something that I started doing last Tuesday, with the aim of keeping it up every week at 6:45am. Yes, it’s very early, and it means getting up somewhere around 5:15am on a day off, but, even though I’ve only been once, I love it and highly recommend it.
I did manage to check myself though. I was basically feeling gutted about missing out on something awesome, whilst simultaneously doing something equally, if not more so, awesome. I went away to Pembroke with Rachel and Isabelle. It was the perfect example of a problem that many people these days have. You find yourself doing something great, whilst still feeling like someone has it better, or you could be doing something that’s even better than what you have.
It’s a stupid thought process, but one that psychologists have proven to be true. Often, the more choice we have available to us, the less satisfied we are by our choices. It seems that sometimes we just can’t be happy with what we have, and have to look at what could have been. I almost did that on Tuesday morning when we were heading to Pembroke Castle. There was a small part of me that wished we went home early so I could selfishly go to yoga. I caught myself thinking like that and quickly reminded myself that it didn’t matter what I could be doing, it only matters what I am doing.
It’s part of the reason I’m so glad I took up meditation. Through this, I’ve learned to check to see what emotions are floating about, what thought processes and patterns are in play and address them as they’re coming up. It’s kept me exceptionally in tune with my mind, and has been incredibly beneficial for looking at depression with a bit of distance. Had it not been for the bout of postnatal depression I had when Isabelle was born, I’d have been pretty much depression free for a good six months. I’ll talk a lot more about meditation, and yoga for that matter, as part of that postnatal depression toolkit.
Generally, I think not thinking outside of what you’re currently doing is just good advice to take on. Just enjoy what you have. You’ll always find someone who has it better, and likewise there will always be someone with it worse. But if you’re constantly comparing your life, and your moments in it, with what others are doing, you’ll never actually be happy. We all just have to try and keep our life in perspective, and embrace whatever it is we’re doing as we’re doing it.
Anyway, that’s all the ramblings for this week. As usual, there’s Facebook and Twitter for you to check out. Although the chances are that you clicked through to this blog via one of those sites, so you possibly already follow me on there.
I’ll catch you next week. Or not. I don’t mind. You don’t have to read these, I’ll still be talking bollocks either way.
Oh, and Isabelle is doing fine. I thought I should probably mention her since this blog is supposed to be about her. I’ll admit, it’s probably more about me. It won’t be long before she’s weaning, so I’ll have plenty to talk about then.