I Don’t Take Enough Photos of the Mother – I’m Not the Only One

I know I’m not the only one who’s guilty of this. But it’s something that I’ve thought about on and off for some time now. And all I’m going to do with this post is simply put a message out there to all the dad’s, and family members out there, and say something very simple: take more photos of the mother.

Photos of the Mother of our baby - Rachel and Isabelle at Christmas
A slightly rare photo taken of Rachel and Isabelle

Take More Photos of the Mother

I’m not going to be writing this from a high horse, as I’m very much guilty of this too. I’m a dad who mostly takes pictures of his daughter. And quite often I forget about the person who carried her, the person who birthed her and the person who fed her. I forget about taking photos of the mother.

Naturally, as I write a blog, I usually need photos in order to fill it. These photos usually consist of Isabelle doing something, as I tend to write most of my posts about her. I’m also taking these photos thinking about all of us being able to look back on them when Isabelle is older. The only problem is, the vast majority of them are just of Isabelle.

You only have to check through my Instagram to see what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with taking photos of the baby. But wouldn’t it be nice to have photos of the mother too? Wouldn’t it be nice for our baby to look back and see plenty of photos of her and her mother doing something together?

For Us It All Started at the Hospital

I should be more conscious of taking more photos of Rachel as it all started at the hospital. Rachel has one photo of her and Isabelle at the hospital. And this is it:

Rachel, the mother of our daughter, and Isabelle. The only photo of her at the hospital
The only photo of Rachel and Isabelle from the hospital

That’s all she has from that day. One quick photo that I took shortly after Isabelle was born. After this we had the visitors. And with that came an eagerness for everyone to have their turn with the baby. Their turn to hold Isabelle and have their photo taken. We have loads of photos of each and every family member holding Isabelle at the hospital. But not a single person thought to take one of Rachel. They even took some of me holding Isabelle. But not Rachel.

This might be partly down to the fact that Rachel barely got to hold Isabelle once the visitors came. Something we’ll change the next time around. There’s a strong chance we might not even have visitors in the hospital anyway. But that’s another post for the future.

It still hurts Rachel even today. Whenever we go back through older photos and arrive on those from the hospital she gets upset. I’m guilty too. I had my phone on me, and I easily could’ve taken more of the two of them together. But I didn’t. In fairness to myself though, I wasn’t exactly thinking much at that point after being up all night with Rachel giving birth. I know I didn’t give birth, but I was there.

I get it. Let’s be honest, once a mother has been through child birth she’s not exactly looking her best. I don’t even mean that as a negative. You’ve just given birth. It’s likely taken hours. You’re hardly going to be up for having your photo taken. But it doesn’t matter. I know Rachel doesn’t care about the fact her hair was a mess, she didn’t have any makeup on, and she clearly looks tired in the about photo. It’s real.

I Have to be More Conscious of the Photos I Take

Moving forward, I have to think more about the photos I take. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve ignored Rachel. But I’ve usually tried to take photos of her when I’ve needed them for the blog. I’ve taken them when she’s writing a post, or when I simply want one so I can write about where we’ve been. Like this one:

Photos of the Mother - taken in Western for a blog post
Rachel and Isabelle in Western

This photo was taken, along with a bunch of other ones like it, as I wanted a photo so I could talk about being back in Western. I didn’t take it thinking “wouldn’t it be nice to have some of Rachel and Isabelle whilst we’re in Western” No. I merely wanted it for a bloody blog post. Which in a way, I’m thankful that I have this blog.

If it wasn’t for this blog, would I have taken this photo? Probably not.

I’m not sure how often I’d actually take photos of Rachel and Isabelle if it wasn’t for the blog. Which is a shame. And I’ll admit that I’m a bit of a dick for thinking like that.

I will say that Rachel should take a slight bit of fault. It hardly helps that she turns away the vast majority of the time I get the camera out. I know I could take more sneaky ones, which is a little harder with a DSLR, but I could always use my phone.

I’m Not Perfect

At the end of the day, I’m not perfect. I’m not awful when it comes to taking photos of Rachel and Isabelle, but I could do it more often. And I dare say a lot of others out there could also take more photos of the mother.

I self reflect as much as I can, and I guess for whatever reason I’ve been reflecting on this recently. Whenever I reflect on myself I always look at ways to improve. What I do wrong, what I do right, and what I could do to ultimately be a better version of myself. This might be a small change, but it’ll be one we’ll all be thankful for when we’re older.

 

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Ross

I’m a 26 year old married father of one. I started blogging after suffering postnatal depression when Isabelle was born. These days I talk about much more than just that.

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