Hit the music, it’s time to celebrate! We’ve now entered the absolutely fucking horrific wonderful stage of toilet training! I can already smell the distant smell of shit drifting from a hidden location somewhere around the house. Queu
Toilet Training: 6 Tips for Sucsessful Toilet Training
Before I continue I will just state that I am not an expert on toilet training. I literally have zero
1. Wait until they’re ready to start
First things first. Don’t bother messing about with potty or toilet training until they’re actually ready for it. I have absolutely no idea why anyone in their right mind would want to introduce an unnecessary level of stress purely because they want their child to take a dump on the toilet.
What are the signs you know they’re ready? Well for us Isabelle would tell us when she had a wee and walk to the nappy table to get changed.
2. Mentally prepare yourself for the arrival of shit
Shit happens. Like literally. I know by this point in your parenting journey you are likely used to visual and aromatic delight that shit provides. Only you’re usually confronted with it inside of a nappy. Ok, sometimes you find it
NOT ANY MORE!
Now you could find shit anywhere. And I mean ANYWHERE. Ok, not actually “anywhere” – If you find it on the top shelf of the fridge then please seek professional help from somewhere! Basically, you’re now going to find shit randomly around the house. It could be gracefully dropped on the living room rug, perched up like a well-crafted bit of chocolate icing. Or it could just as easily be dropped halfway through a meal right in the middle of the kitchen bench. Yes, that one has happened to us, and yes it was actually rather fun!
My point is simple: prepare yourself to
3. Skip potty training and go straight to toilet training instead
This was a rather easy one for us as Isabelle really didn’t quite understand the purpose of pissing in a bucket. It’s understandable. Mum and dad go and use the toilet, meanwhile, she’s placed on some awful little plastic thing and expected to fill it with piss. She didn’t like the idea of it, and truth be told, the idea of cleaning out either piss or shit – there’s a lose-lose for you – every time she used it didn’t exactly fill me with excitement either.
My advice, invest in a family toilet seat and some sort of training step. That way your toddler can technically – and don’t hold me to this – climb onto the toilet themselves, do the business, wipe, flush and then disembark and continue with their day. Will that
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4. Go Nappy free as much as possible
This one is
For us that mostly meant that Isabelle spent a large amount of time naked. If she had any sort of leggings on she would forget that she didn’t have the nappy on and just go anyway. Gradually, the more and more she got used to the sensation of needing a wee and the association of using the toilet, the better she got at actually using the toilet.
In fairness, as much as I love a good moan, I genuinely can’t complain that much about Isabelle here. She’s mostly been terrific. She’s had the odd accident where she suddenly thought “fuck it, I’ll go on the sofa” or she’s taken a liking to the grass instead of the toilet, but all in all she’s been great, even if she does still want to climb me!
5. Buy reusable training pants
To be honest, since we started toilet training in the spring/summer, we were easily able to go down the nappy free route quite often. Isabelle didn’t always like wearing clothes anyway, and when it’s a hot day that’s even more the case. I have no idea where she gets it from.
Of course, you don’t technically have to buy reusable training pants for this one, and you can go with disposables. But since we’re fully down the cloth nappy route, we obviously went with reusables.
At least with these your toddler will get used to the idea of wearing underwear rather than a nappy, but they’ll also be
6. Provide toilet entertainment
Sometimes toilet training can be rather boring. Since toddlers aren’t always fully in tune with their bladder or bowels they often get confused telling the difference between needing a shit and needing a fart. On many – many, many, many – occasions Isabelle has rushed off to the toilet in sheer panic – with one of us rushing equally in tow – only for her to sit on the toilet and simply let out a
Occasionally that’s the end of it. She gets up and wanders off to destroy whatever it was she was in the process of ruining. Other times she basically wants to chill out on the toilet seat. So be prepared to sit there with them keeping them entertained. You could leave a book or two in the bathroom, have hand puppets ready to perform Punch and Judy – whatever floats your boat – or you could just allow them to rearrange your face. The choice is yours!
When it comes to toilet training, don’t try to force anything and understand that accidents happen
Well, that’s about it from me. Like anything in life, just try to enjoy yourself and embrace the chaos. If your child shits on the rug and opts to smear it across the TV then laugh about it. Shouting and shaming them will only make things more difficult and make them more likely to hide their mistakes rather than present them to you. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather Isabelle tell me that she’s shat on the doormat rather than have her try and stuff it down the side of the sofa.
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